Unforgiveable
by tiffy jeevas
Summary: Re-make of Behind Blue Eyes. ZackxCloud. Yaoi. Cloud and his family have to move from their city home to a farm house smack dab in the middle of nowhere. He doesnt want to be happy about this, but with Zack always around, its kind of hard not too.


So I never informed anyone that I would be re-making Behind Blue Eyes, so I geuss I'll tell you now XD I've had this planned for a while, the whole "im going to re-do my story" but I JUST now finally got around to doing it. Haha. This is the same story as before, with the same idea: Cloud moves from the city to his relatives farm were he meets Zack, and so on... :) Only this version is better, and hopefully will last a longg time.

ZackxCloud. Akuroku. Yaoi. May be other pairings later, undecided as of right now though.

Summary: Re-make of Behind Blue Eyes. ZackxCloud. Yaoi. Cloud and his family have to move from their city home to a farm house smack dab in the middle of nowhere. He doesnt want to be happy about this, but with Zack always around, its kind of hard.

Disclaimer: I dont own anythingg. Although, if I owned Zack, he'd be in my bed right now.

* * *

Cloud stared back at me, with the same neutral face that I gave him. He looked like someone who'd lost something, maybe even everything, and was just about ready to give up, just about being the key words. In his eyes, which held a pure blue color, looked angry, filled with hatred. Hatred for being under this law that he had to succumb too, and hatred for being curious as to what lay in store for him. Why couldn't he just live on his own? Why couldn't Cloud be happy?

I cast my eyes down, unable to stare at his anymore. They were just a constant reminder of how horrible life was going to be. Instead, I looked at his lips. Pink hued, and pulled down in a natrual frown. How beautiful. They did nothing to help the constant buzz of anger and sadness that ran through my body as they mouthed the words "unforgivable" to me. The word itself was my future summed up into 5 syllables.

I'd been having the same petty argument with myself for the past weeks as the deadline became closer and closer. At first, I was just consumed with this massive amount of anger and questions. Why would we have to do this? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Is there anyway that I don't have to be a part of this? Naturally, the boiling fire in my stomach cooled, and the questions, after being asked over and over again, quieted.

It was then that I felt this enormous weight on my shoulders. I felt trapped, like I was a bird in a cage and couldn't get away. My best friend was the only person who could open the door. As time ticked down, he eventually did. It was a load of bullshit though, telling me that things wont change, and it'll be like it always has. Still, I allowed myself to be tricked, and the weight on my shoulders numbed.

Things almost went back to normal, as normal as they could have been with everyone knowing this small piece of information. Although, when the time came, everything rushed back, and I was once again filled up to the brim with anger, questions, sadness, the sense of being trapped, and the need to get free. The anger became two sided after the realization of why I wanted to be free. I wanted to know, and experience what was going to happen to me.

"Cloud, mom and dad want you to come down for breakfast." Calm and collected came the voice as it passed by the open door. A hint of yellow caught the corner of my eye, but to know that I wasnt alone in this did nothing to please me. I stared once again back to the reflection of myself in the mirror.

It would be the last time that I'd be looking through this mirror to the Cloud on the other side, and part of me was being beaten down just thinking about it. I tore my eyes away though, to the empty, spacious room before me that told me the same thing every time I looked at it:

You're feeling curious about moving away now, huh? How utterly unforgivable.

"Hey, Cloud, did'ya hear me?" Roxas poked his head into the room, eyes fogged with sleep. No wonder he was so calm. I didn't blame him, waking up at three in the morning can be pretty difficult.

"Yeah." One last sweep of the room that I'd never see again, and I was following my brother out to the kitchen.

The smell of milky french toast, evenly cooked, and drowned in syrup hit my nose, blocking out everything but food. On the table sat four plates. Plate number one was moms with two plain pieces of french toast, no syrup. Plate number two was for dad, two pieces of french toast, plus syrup. The third was Roxas's, two pieces of plain french toast, and two pieces with Cinnamon, plus syrup. Mine was the fourth with two pieces of plain french toast, tons of syrup and an equal amount of powdered sugar.

Roxas, Dad, and I sat down in our designated chairs, of which weren't technically even ours anymore, as we waited for Mom to take her seat. She was always the last one, and being a mom and all, she had to get us all glasses of milk, not allowing us to do so ourselves. But the moment she sat down, we all dug in. As though it was tradition, Roxas asked me the same question he always does:

"How can you eat that with powdered sugar?" Thats the que for my usual question answer.

"How can you eat that with cinnamon?" I silently took the time to make a face at the cinnamon sprinkled pieces of french toast that lay upon my brothers plate.

"Because its good, but then again, someone as retarded as you wouldn't understand."

"Says the boy who told me to throw my window out my phone." Mom and Dad mockingly laughed, remembering Roxas's stupidity. I couldn't help but look smug as he glared at me.

"That was months ago! Why do you guys _still _laugh about it?" The pout on his face did nothing to hide the fact that he was trying not to smile. "I just got my words mixed up."

"Stop trying to defend yourself. It was funny and you know it." Roxas would have retorted, but Mom had a different plan.

"Are you boys ready for the car ride?" The smug look on my face disinigrated into nothing. My brother shrugged.

"How long did you say it was going to be?" He asked.

"About seven hours, right?" Mom looked at Dad for conformation. He nodded his head, working on his last piece of breakfast.

"I was hoping since we're leaving before traffic starts, it'll be a little less, but you never know."

"It'll be fun though," Mom stated, smiling brightly. "We have plenty of movies for you guys to watch." We have one of those cars that have built in screens on the back of the headrests that play movies. Its definatly not my cup of tea, but Roxas was a movie fiend. He could watch the same movie three times in a row and still love it just as much as he did the first time.

Me, I could care less for movies. The only genre I ever watched and enjoyed was horror, not suspense, or thriller. I don't want to watch some lame ass school girl run into an alley way that has some gay fatty wearing a ski mask. I want a herd of zombies to come out of butt fuck nowhere and rip some sleazy hobo limb from limb. Plus, I only watch horror films at night, during the day just ruins everything.

Theres one movie I wouldn't care to watch though, whether its daylight, or if theres a tornado. "You have The Lost Boys, right?" I asked. Best. Movie. Ever. An old film, definitely not the kind that are out today, but it still beats The Saw, and/or Underworld by a long shot.

"Of course, Cloud. You live and breathe that movie." True. I do watch it an awful lot, and when it comes up, I'm the master at summarizing what its about. "I've got A Knights Tale too." I lied when I said there was only one movie I wouldn't care to watch. A Knights Tale is, hands down, a movie I'd jump in front of a bullet for.

"I love Heath Ledger." I muttered between a bite of syrapy powder sugary goodness. Of course though, my life has to be ruined by the death of one of my favorite actors.

"We know you do, but everything happens for a reason." Like us moving to the middle of a fucking farm. Yep, God wants me to be a cow milker because it'll show me the wonders of utters. "Don't make that face, I know what you're thinking. Cow milking will _not _be your profession." A week ago I came to her and told her that I didn't want to be cow milker for the rest of my life.

Roxas laughed, slamming his hand down onto the table, shocking Dad out of his food stupor. "That job is perfect for you!" My eyes turned cold as I turned to look at him.

"You little vagina, I hope you slip and fall face first into horse shit."

"Language, Cloud." Mom scolded, taking Dad's glass to refill it. "Roxas wont be the only one that'll have to be cautious when raking the manure."

"I'm not going to rake crap." I made it crystal clear to both Mom and Dad from the beginning that I wouldn't do anything that involves bowel movements.

"Im not doing it alone." Roxas whined, his face begging Mom to tell me once more that I would have to do the job. My face dared her to say it.

"You know, why don't we let Cid distribute jobs? That way its fair." I couldn't argue with that, and neither could Roxas. So we both opted for glaring at each other. I sent him a telepathic video message of him falling into a pile of fresh horse shit. "Are you two almost done?" My glare softened, and my stomach dropped. It was almost time. Roxas must have seen the look on my face, for he gave me a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, im not hungry anymore."

* * *

Two hours into the ride and we finally just started watching The Lost Boys. Roxas had gone into an argument over which movie we should watch first. I wasn't in the mood to fight, and I'm still not, but I guess he felt sorry for me, because he offered to watch it for once. I had a blanket around me, and pillow just in case I needed it. My shoes were off, too, but that didn't help the slightly uncomfortable feel of my pants. It was a mistake to wear fitting ones and not loose ones. Although, once the movie started, it helped me forget about it.

During the scene with David and Sam when David first sees Star, I reminisce back to when I last watched this. I had been with Leon last month, and we were making fun of the band's singer in this part, when he does this little jig. It had been so funny at the time, and as I watch it now, its still funny, but doesn't seen like it did. "When does Paul come in?" Roxas is well aware that my favorite character in the movie is one of the vampires, and always has to make fun of his mullet when he sees him.

"He showed up in the begining, you missed it." Roxas frowned, letting his head roll onto his shoulder. "Dont worry, he shows up again in a few minutes."

* * *

Traffics getting heavier now that everyone is awake. Theres no school either, so anybody who can drive is out and about. The freeway isn't going as smoothly as before, but I'd rather have it like this than moving an inch every five minutes. In a couple of hours, Mom said we'll be all by ourselves on a dirt road. I think it was supposed to be good news. "Anybody want to play eye-spy?" Mom asked from the passenger seat in front of me, her creepy, yellow sunglasses blocking the sun that wasn't even in her view.

"No." Both me and Roxas said in unision, our voices monotone. A half hour ago we got bored of watching movies and have been sitting here doing nothing ever since.

"Come on, boys, theres nothing better to do."

"Yeah there is." Roxas grumbled. "I'm counting how many signs have the letters that can spell out "dildo". Forty-two." Looking out my window I tried to spy the sign he was looking at, but all I got was a glimpse of someones face before we passed it.

"Language, Roxas. And I don't want to hear you two talking dirty to Uncle Cid, alright?" I had to stifle my laughter, and by the sound of it, Roxas did too. Quickly, with nimble fingers, I grabbed my phone from atop my pillow and texted 'Can I Gerkin yer Derkin, Uncle Cid?' to Roxas.

"Dont worry, we wont be talking dirty to Uncle Cid, mom." Roxas assured her, just as his phone vibrated in his hand. He looked at the text, before looking at me, a grin covering his face.

"Hes already got a sailors mouth, the lord knows he doesn't need two more yapping around." My phone lit up with a new text, and when I opened it, it said 'I love pickles'. I smiled at our little inside joke, thinking up more sexual phrases that have to do with pickles. Can I jar your dill? Kosher me up, baby... A familiar tune known as Roxas's ring tone started playing.

"Checked my phone and saw you rang, and I jizzed in my pants-"

"Hello?"

"Jesus, Roxas! How many times have I told you to get rid of that ring tone?" Mom growled, her face turned to look at her youngest son who sat, looking as innocent as ever.

"Hey, Axel!" Of course. No surprise there. "Yeah, we already left, like, hours ago... Yeah... Really? Already?" Roxas laughed, sounding very flattered. "Tell them all I'll miss them too... No, I cant say that to you... Because we'll see each other all the time... Fine, I miss you... Honestly, that was heartfelt... Alright, alright, hold on." Looking down at his phone, he pressed a button, and the car filled with the sound of Axel's humming. "Axel wants to tell us a joke."

"You bet like hell I do! Im on speaker, right Roxy?" Axel's voice sounded just as annoying, and creepy as ever. It made my ears bleed, and my brain sizzle.

"Yep."

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Strife." What a gentleman.

"Hello."

"Howdy." Dad responded.

"Ahh, getting into the country spirit." You could tell, because it had its own distinct sound, that Axel switched his phone to a different ear. "Hey, Sexy."

"Hey." I replied, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Whats your joke?" Mom asked.

"Alright, whats the speed limit of sex?" Axel questioned. Mom and Dad groaned, obviously not taking part in the joke anymore. Roxas and I exchanged looks.

"I dunno, what?" Roxas asked.

"68, because at 69 you have to turn around. HAHAHAHAHAHAA!" Axel bellowed. Roxas pulled the phone farther away from him, laughing as he did so. I, myself, couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes, Axel made things a little better.

* * *

"Cloud, Roxas, look. We're almost there." I obeyed, looking out the window. In front of us, the trail that consisted of nothing but dirty gravel and half dead trees, of which we had been traveling on for the past hour, meshed together with patches of grass before turning into nothing but green. It wasn't just a nice green though, it was rich and dark, and actually held life. The trees were just the same. Leaves came up from their branches in thick bushels, some larger than others, some just barely beginning to change colors.

Farther up ahead, the trail ended, and the trees cleared into a vast sea of green, where the hills looked like waves, and the ship lay in the middle of the water, baring wooden teeth. More trees lay scattered around, reminding me that this wasnt the sea, there were no ships. Some of them held apples, others oranges, and lemons, and limes. Even from far away, they looked delicious. I wondered what they looked like up close.

"This place is so beautiful! Its nothing like I remember." Mom said in awe, rolling her window down. Fresh air, like nothing I've ever breathed filled my lungs.

"Were gunna live here?" Roxas asked, rolling down his own window.

"Yep!" She chirped. "Cloud, isn't this great."

"Yeah." I forced myself not to sound as enthusiastic as I felt. I was betraying myself, calling this place nice. How unforgivable.

The house looked small, but big enough to hold more than a few people. It looked sort of like a story book house, and, even from this distance, looked cozy. Next to the house was another structure, but I couldn't tell much from this view. As we neared even closer, the car slowing down a good speed, I could just barely see a-

"Cow!" Roxas screamed, throwing his head out the window. "Oh god, this is great! I love this place! Theres a horse! Mom, theres a horse!" Just as he said, there was a massive beast of a horse looking straight at us, black eyes staring us down. It was all brown, with a black mane and tail. A shiver made its way down my spine, and in return, I looked away from the horse. I was never fond of them.

The car rumbled to a stop. The front door to the house opened, and three people made their way onto the porch, waving like good family members should. Uncle Cid, Aunt Elmyra and Aerith, our cousin. Of course, Uncle Cid wasn't blood related to Aerith, hence the reason why she looked nothing like him. Sometimes it was awkward calling him "uncle" because he wasn't related to us by blood either.

"Elmyra." Mom cooed, opening her door and stepping out, holding her arms out wide toward her sister, who stepped off the porch to meet the embrace. Dad got out, and me and Roxas followed. Aerith was quick to greet us with her kind smile.

"Its been forever." She stated, clasping her hands together behind her back. I forced a smile that would match hers, and nodded my head.

"Twelve years." Twelve years ago we visited when I was five, and Roxas was three. Aerith had been four, and she looked exactly the same then as she did now. Never did I think that we'd be meeting again in this situation.

"I dont remember." Roxas pondered, knitting his brows together.

"Thats because you were three." I explained.

"Cloud, Roxas." Both our blonde heads turned to see Aunt Elmyra waving too us. Both me and Roxas said hello, gave her a hug, and heard a few things about the last time she saw us. The same thing happened with Uncle Cid, and if any other family members were here, im sure the same exact thing would happen with them as well. The whole thing was awkward, at least to me.

"How about we all head inside, and we'll show you around?" Aunt Elmyra suggested. "We weren't sure which rooms you all wanted, so we just let the workers put them in different rooms, you can decide if you want to move things around later." Opening the door, she held it open for us.

Inside, everything looked like it did in every house. The living room was the first thing you walked into, with a T.V., couches, a carpet floor, and a table with a half finished game of cards on it. There were two halls, one that looked like it led to the kitchen, the other leading into another room that looked like the living room.

We walked into the one that became the kitchen, and the smell of coffee was thick. It was fairly small, not like ours had been, were you could cook and eat in the same room. This was the type were you had to eat in the living room or elsewhere. "Down there is the hall to your room." Uncle Cid said to Mom and Dad, pointing down another pathway. We followed him out of the kitchen and into the room that looked like the living room.

It was a small entertainment like room, with a computer, and another T.V., except this one had game systems, and a DVD player hooked up. "Right down that hall are two doors, one for you, Cloud, and one for Roxas." I looked to were he was pointing, and saw what he was talking about, but was too busy staring at a pair of cowboy boots sticking up over the back of the couch that had its own little, secluded area, maybe used for reading.

"Dont mind that," Aerith chuckled, obvioiusly talking about the boots. "Thats just Zack. We tried waking him up before you got here, but he sleeps like a dead animal on occasion."

"Yeah, usually the good 'ol Titty Twister works on 'em, but the little fucker slept through that too." Uncle Cid said, scratching the back of his head. Me and Roxas looked at each other. His baby face held a big smile. Anything along the lines of titty, nipple, penis, etc. always made him smile.

"Can I go see my room?" Roxas asked, looking back at everyone.

"Of course." Uncle Cid shooed us away. "If you need us, we'll be in the living room." The short blonde turned around, and pushed against my back, moving us toward our rooms. As we passed the couch, I couldn't help but look down to see who "Zack" was.

There on the couch layed a guy who couldn't have been much older than me. No shirt, gray sweats, cowboy boots, black hair and a peaceful face. _Shit._

* * *

So, how many of you like the other version better? I know I sure dont! Haha. (:

Reviewwwww. I'd like to know who all hates me for re-making Behind Blue Eyes.


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